I know I am not a perfect parent by any means. I make mistakes, I lock my kids in the cupboard, I forget things- so I am not an expert parent at all. (Oh and I don’t really lock my kids in the cupboard in case you think I’m actually serious.) I just wanted to put together a little fun guide that helps me get through mum life.
I don’t want you to read this and think it’s because I find being a mum awful (because I don’t), It is the most rewarding thing in the world. But I do know through my now 5 years of experience, it can be hard and challenging at times and sometimes we may need a helping hand, a pat on the back, or something to just keep them quiet for a bit. So here are my ten top tips that help me and may help you too!
Lets put this one at the top shall we, as its something ‘normal’ parents enjoy! You tell me another alternative that is going to block out that ear piercing whining sound kids make? But in all seriousness I don’t get drunk around the children- I just know its ok to have a glass… or two… or three, wine works spectacularly well when you’re stressed, oh also being that it’s the festive season I have found baileys works well too (thank me later). Cheers kiddies.
2. Having an on call friend.
I have a few friends I chat too regularly, but one of my best friends I speak to every day. And she gets me 1 million per cent. We talk morning, afternoon and evening; so she really understands every aspect of my day, and lucky for me she feels the same. By 9:30am we have survived the morning and got back from the school run, then we get to have a our big moan about how horrible the morning was and how much more annoying the kids were than the day before. (may I add she loves swearing just as much as me) Sounds amazing right? Right. So if you don’t have an on call friend.. I highly recommend one to get you through every hour of the day, and they will get you through it! I promise. Make sure they swear lots too.
Perfect for those cold rainy days, lazy days, mornings, dinner time, afternoons, anytime really. I find something about watching Cars 3 100 plus times of the god damn day very therapeutic. I mean wouldn’t you much rather do that than do something most normal people would like clean or have a shower? No I wouldn’t either, because I have learnt the whole script off by heart.
4. Make time for me.
This is very important if you don’t want to end up fucking insane! Date night, shopping, bath or shower time, even a 5 minute walk down to the shop.. anything that doesn’t involve the children being less than 3cms away from you is bliss. I’m joining slimming world this evening- That’s right an hour just for me, you honestly wouldn’t believe what an hour of adult time can do for that brain. So bin the kids and get yourself out.
5. Toilet break.
I have used this one separately because unfortunately its one thing that I will probably never ever get to do alone again.. But don’t feel too sad because when their in bed, those two minutes between going and washing your hands.. will feel like you’re on a 5 star all inclusive holiday, you will never know peace and quiet quite like it. So really take it all in when you’re on the toilet, enjoy that small precious moment, because you know in the morning their joining you again to watch you go and ask ‘what you doing mummy’ the whole time.
6. Don’t worry about anybody else.
For me this is so important, as worrier is my middle name! Over this last year I have really learnt that my children do not need something just because someone else’s child I know has it. When my five year old was born converse were a massive thing for kids when they started walking, and as soon as Annabelle started walking I jumped on that band wagon. I’m not saying my children don’t have something other kids do, or some designer clothes but I have learnt to buy it when they actually need new clothes or shoes not because everyone else has it. Some other example’s of things I think I have worried too much about are; co-sleeping (would I be judged for it?), swaddling (everyone else does I), breast feeding, baby led weaning or purée etc. When I look back on just those couple of things alone, I really do think why did I give a shit what anybody may have said or thought on what I did or didn’t do? It’s no one else’s life, no one else’s child. Being a mum and raising children is NOT a fucking competition. No one is better than anybody just because you do something someone else doesn’t, just parent your way and how you want too- forget what everybody else is doing.
7. Rules and Discipline.
Without some control your kids are going to run you fucking wild. Without routine and knowing their limits mine would be out of control. It doesn’t make you a bad parent for putting your child in the naughty corner or on the naughty step, it teaches them that you’re in charge and that they cant behave the way they have. If someone ever tries telling you that you’re a bad parent for having rules and disciplining your child, then you can bet your arse their child is that one you hear and see screaming on the floor in Tesco’s whilst they just stand there embarrassed as hell acting as if its not their child- (and yes my kids have screamed the whole of Tesco’s down before, but I wouldn’t be embarrassed because they’d be told off and would soon stop). I wouldn’t care who was watching or what they thought. They say children learn from and copy what they see and hear, if that’s the case of course they need to be taught what’s right and what’s wrong.
8. Mum knows best.
And yes I damn do! I know if my kids are crying with sadness or crying with laughter, I know if their not ok, I know if something isn’t right or their poorly. I know if my children are hungry or bored, don’t like something or just want a cuddle. I know how to make them feel better, how to handle their behaviour, how they like being tucked into bed at night, how hot they like their milk, how to hype them up and calm them down. For some reason I do not know- people are happy to tell you what they think you should or shouldn’t do with your kids (because that’s what they did with their child). Which really does grate me, if I want advice I’ll ask for it! More than anybody else when it comes to our children I we know best and will do what we want!
9. Have fun.
Whilst it is important to have rules and discipline, its also super important to let go a bit, have fun and enjoy being a parent! Enjoy your children however old they are, they grow scarily fast. So if you’re not to some extent laid back and you don’t enjoy having fun and letting your hair down, you will regret it! Some of my best days are dancing round the living room with the kids, doing some silly moves with them laughing in hysterics telling me how funny and amazing I am.
10. Let them be.
Let your child be the people they want to be, don’t try and mold them into what you think they should be. Your child doesn’t have to live the life you did, or do the things you did. Let them explore, get dirty, fall over and cut their knee, let them enjoy some junk food, let them do something you may never have dared too- let them be children. The world may be a much better place for it, and they will thank you later.A nice surgery chocolate cake after school!
They love going to the driving range to practise golf.
I hope you enjoyed my little top ten tips for surviving parenthood, I hope this hasn’t made me sound too uptight, or like I think I know it all (I know I don’t). I enjoyed reminding myself I am not perfect but I perfect to my kids! Just remember your children don’t care if you haven’t brushed your hair, haven’t worn make up or brushed your teeth- they love you for you.
See you in my next blog.