I’m not a breastfeeding expert by any means, I’ve only been doing it for almost 6 weeks so it’s still all very new to me. But I have learnt and discovered so much in this short space of time, that I was very oblivious too.
Honestly alot of these things I had no idea about, I just assumed you fed your baby on your tit when their hungry and that’s that. But there is so much more behind it, it definitely requires alot of determination and willpower.
So I have put together 15 things that I have learnt alot about since Breastfeeding. It’s just abit of fun really, these things haven’t put me off or stopped me from it at all. I really love and enjoy feeding Eva.. But they are things I wish I knew and could prepare for.
It hurts. Alot. Those first few weeks I dreaded feed time, and had to grit my teeth and breathe through those first ten seconds whilst she latched. I can honestly say in my experience it felt like someone was pulling my nipples off, with fucking razor blades. Get yourself some Lanolin nipple cream, it honestly was my nipples best friend.
Before and after every feed, I smothered my nips in this bad boy.
Poonarmi. Those things happen on a daily basis, sometimes even twice a day. I won’t gross you out with pictures.. But yesterday Eva was quite literally up to her kneck in shit. I stock up on plenty of stain removers.
You will leak everywhere. I’m currently finding I’m having to wash my bras everyday. Night time is the worst, now Eva is going a little bit longer at night, I wake up to myself and the bedsheets drenched in milk. Also gone through the mattress protector.. an ruined the bloody mattress.
Nursing bras. Please just invest in these, it may seem like another expense but they are so worth it! I got a pack of two; They are the most comfiest bras, from m&s for £32.50. Whilst they dont completely cover you when feeding, they do a damn better job than a normal bra. I spent the first week I had Eva with my normal ones. I’m pretty sure everyone saw my boobs when preparing to feed, trying to bend it down or lift it up was a disaster. These beauties unclip at the strap, they are just a must. Just bloody buy them! Save yourself the whole world seeing everything you have.
I think I will live in these forever.
Resenting your other half. I mean why can’t they have boobs or produce milk? You don’t need to pass her back to me every second she cries. Mummies boobs are off sick today lol.
As if, give her here then.
Cluster feeding. Yes the one you probably have heard things about. They really do cluster feed, I am often known to be found with child dangling from my nipple. It can be soooo knackering, especially at the beginning.. when the sleep deprivation kicks in. And every waking minute your baby has to be on your boobs.
But keep going.
The let down. I’ve only just figured this out properly. I feel it, it tingles, for me I personally think it’s such a weird feeling. I usually experience the let down about 30 seconds into a feed. She often pulls off mid let down, and gets squirted in the face ha ha. That’ll teach ya.
Don’t touch me. Is quite literally what I say to my other half every night. When you’ve had a baby hanging from your nipple all fucking day, you can keep your mits off. Goodbye sex drive.
Clothing issues. I’d really like to know why there’s so limited choice on clothes for breastfeeding mums, and why are the clothes they do sell so bloody expensive? To do the most natural thing in the world, with easy access and comfort, they want to charge us £15-£20 for a pissing t-shirt. There’s hardly that much extra material.
Kiss your warm meals goodbye. To be quite honest I never got to experience a warm dinner in the first few months with my other two, and they were bottle fed. It is the same for breastfeeding. You don’t have both your hands free that easily. You’ll end up hating your partner for this too, as he stuffs his fat gob with his freshly cooked hot dinner. Bastard.
Lack of sleep. There’s not much to say on this really, lack of sleep means what it says on the tin. They feed alot more at night, all night. (She is getting slightly better at night though, so I have some hope).
No sterilizing. I don’t have to fucking wash and sterilize bottles every day and night, I cannot tell you how much I love it. I never even bought a sterilizer this time. Saving some pennies. For gin. But not too much, you’re breastfeeding.
Breast pads. Buy them, buy them by the dozen. Buy them like you would chocolate and wine. They aren’t a waste of money.
Demand feeding. Yes when your baby cries it’s likely for boob. Unlike my experience bottle feeding the other two, they dont often stretch 3-4 hours at the beginning. Eva’s been known to go less than hourly.
Its worth it. It’s absolutely 100000% worth it. I’m so lucky I have a good supply of milk to give to Eva. To know she’s getting the absolute best all from me, when she gains weight I get so excited, because I did that! We have such an amazing bond, and I just love the way she puts her little hand on my boob and looks up at me when she’s feeding. You’re welcome little lady.
Just look what I’m growing, all with my milkies.
Please don’t take this completely seriously, whilst the titles are true things about Breastfeeding, the comments about it are just for a laugh. Breast feeding is amazing and I would encourage you to do so if you can!